Why First Dates, Are The Worst Dates! And How To Make Them Better.
The Dreaded First date. First Dates are a big reason most people hate dating. There’s all this anticipation and build up and uncertainty. It can be such a build up that you can blow it before it starts. They are incredibly tricky situations.
The “What do I do?” What do I say? What do I wear? leads to you not only questioning yourself but also questioning the other’s efforts. Do they match yours. You put on a nice ensemble and they showed up in sneakers. Here is a list on why
First Dates can be really boring
First dates are often designed to cover the basics and stick to neutral territory. You don’t try to show the real you. You are “PC”
But according to behavioral economist Dan Ariely, this “don’t ruffle feathers” model of first dates is exactly the problem. As he writes, “when going on a first date, we try to achieve a delicate balance between expressing ourselves, learning about the other person, but also not offending anyone—favoring friendly over controversial—even at the risk of sounding dull.”
Solution: Instead of Talking about the weather and your favorite food push the envelope. Ask more personal questions. Dig deeper. It might be shocking and spark something much more eventful.
Don’t build your expectations too high.
Daters build up expectations of the other person’s attractiveness beforehand, setting themselves up for disappointment and missing out a potential relationship before it even has a chance to start.
This does not just apply to just appearance; daters often misconstrue vague statements such as “I’m outdoorsy” to match their own expectations of the phrase—whether that means an affinity for weekend hikes or a desire for multi-week Pikes Peak excursions. These preconceptions set you up for greater disappointment when the truth is revealed, and then you feel like you’ve “lost” out. When though all they ever had was someone to take strolls with.
Solution: Don’t set expectations so high that you miss out on something great because you had a different idea in your mind. Keep expectations low, and focus on learning specifics during the actual date.
Right Person, Wrong Time!
A lot of the time we will say yes i’ll go out with this person because we have nothing better to do. We can even be interested in someone else. then you go out on a date and have this amazing time and you’re like where were you when I was actually looking?
Men are more casual daters they do it because they may want something to look at, or have free time. the thrills come from meeting new women and fantasizing about new experiences and opportunities. Where women actually prefer to go on dates and prefer to think about going out with the guy that they actually met.
Solution: Make sure you’re open to the possibilities with the person you are going out with. You never know what could happen.