Let me introduce myself!
My name is Lidia, hence the name ‘Dear Lid’. Yes, I do live in the wonderful State of Colorado,
truly the land of the free. I am not a licensed Counselor; I hold no degree what- so –ever. My
advice to you is strictly for entertainment purposes for Coollivin.com What you
take away from my advice is clearly up to you.
I welcome all your questions, and hope that I will not only entertain you, but give you some
good old fashion advice or at least make you say ‘Hmmm’. Most of us feel they don’t know the
answer to their current situations. Realistically, we all know our answers, it just sounds better
when someone else says it. I won’t hold my tongue, so if you ask, expect a direct answer. Now
Dear Lid: I’m a single, 30 year old woman with no children. During the summer I can always count on plenty of things to do to keep myself busy, eat right and not be so lonely. Winter is slowly creeping up and I am finding myself sitting on the couch eating fatty foods. It’s hard enough to be in my 30’s and single yet being overweight is something I chose not to be. I have tried sticking to snacking on healthy foods such as vegetables, fruits and nuts, but I get bored with them and move on to chocolates and chips. Help!!
Signed, Couch potato
Dear Couch potato: You are not alone. As the weather declines there are less sun-filled days which may cause many of us to experience mild depression, which may even worsen if you’re having feelings of loneliness.
The good news is that you don’t have to experience the ‘Winter Blues’. Find a fun workout video; as you know exercising in your home is just as effective as outdoors or at a gym, go sledding, and ice skating. Take vitamin D to help improve your mood as well as the lack of sunlight. Best of all, we have social media, we are never alone.
Dear Lid: I’m a lesbian who has fallen in love with my roommate, who is also a lesbian. My roommate has been single since we’ve been living under the same roof (8 months), but now she tells me that she is meeting a female she has been chatting with on Facebook. I’m afraid that if she meets this girl they may start dating and I will have lost my chances with her. What should I do?
Dear Confession: Having feeling for someone you’re with on a daily bases is not unusual. As a roommate you get to see all sides of her. Here are a few questions I must ask you before you go running off to declare your devoted love to her. 1) Has your roommate ever shown or expressed any romantic feelings for you? 2) If you do express those love feelings to her and she doesn’t feel the same will it affect your roommate situation?
My opinion is that after 8 months of living together and she has never shown any affection towards you besides just a friendship, I’d say keep them feelings to yourself, unless you are willing to take the risk and the consequences that may follow. Think before you act!
Dear Lid: My brother wants to enlist in the Army; he’s only 19 years old. I don’t want him to join because I fear he may be deployed to Afghanistan. How can I ask him not to join?
Signed, Big Sis
Dear Big Sis: Your fears are legitimate, yet at 19 years of age he’s making a grown man’s decision. The Military has given many young men and women a great beginning in their lives. Many come out with College degrees, or they decide to make the Military a life career. He sees this as a positive move, and is looking for your approval and support. Don’t make it a negative situation bases on your feelings. Let him live his life. Tell him you love him and will see him after boot camp.
Dear Lid: I’m a 33 year old man from Colorado. I was married at the young age of 25, and no, she was not pregnant. She was my first girlfriend in High School, we married right after college. We both have very successful careers, in which we work long weeks and long hours. We do try to set aside our weekends.
A month ago I meet a very interesting woman at the coffee shop in my office building. Did I mention my wife works in the same building? Needless to say, I had begun having an affair with this woman.
The last few weeks I’ve seen my wife talking with my affair in the coffee shop. I, of course, turn and walk the other direction. A few days ago I was on my way to visit my affair, when I noticed my wife and my affair coming out of the apartment building holding hands. Last night my wife called to tell me she was going to work through the evening on a project that was due in the morning with a female colleague of hers.
I think my wife is having an affair, with the woman I’M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH!! The first thing that came to mind is a threesome.
Dear 3Sum: First of all I’m sure you are aware of the saying ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’. The fact that you are both having an affair is truly saying there is something wrong in your marriage. The fact that you are both having an affair with the same woman tells me that this woman is playing you both!
Now, let me clear up your thoughts of having a threesome. A woman rather she’s heterosexual, bi, or bi-curious, having sex with another woman doesn’t necessarily give men the red flag that they want a threesome. What your wife may be saying is that she is seeking more intimacy. After all isn’t that what you were searching for when you started your affair?
Your next step is going to be the hardest. You’re going to have to figure out if you are going to A) Say nothing, and both of you continue the affairs. B) Decide who you will approach first. Your wife, or the woman you’re both having affairs with? Do not speak to them together; this would be a nightmare.
I would suggest you bring in take-out, pop open a bottle of wine with candle light and talk freely with your wife about your marriage. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but maybe this would be one secret that may save your marriage.